W09: Managing Conflict; Consecrating Ourselves

Once again my heart is full as I sit to write this week.  I have had an overwhelming week, and most of it is my own fault – it is at least a blessing when one can recognize and own their errors and misdeeds.   I read a couple of chapters this week in Dr. Gottman’s the Seven Principles for Making Marriage Work, a chapter in Dr. Goddard’s book Drawing Heaven Into Your Marriage, a talk given by Elder Lynn G. Robbins, and watched a video about forgiveness by Elder Faust.  I have learned a lot, more than I will be able to write in this short post, so I have chosen instead of focusing on managing conflict, which is uber important, to write about consecrating ourselves in our marriage.

So what does it mean to consecrate?  Merriam-Webster defines consecrate as “dedicated to a sacred purpose.”  How do I consecrate myself in my marriage? Am I consecrated to Christ?  Am I living the Law of Consecration?  Such big questions in a little paragraph.   I read this week, in one of the above writing, Goddard, I think, that if I am not following the basic commandments given by Heavenly Father than I am unable to live the Law of Consecration, and I fully believe that.  If I don’t pay my tithing, I am not giving and serving to my full potential.  There’s a crash course for those that needed it, myself included – I at least needed the reminder.

Let’s get back to the matter at hand, consecrating myself to my marriage.  Am I dedicated to my marriage as if it had sacred purpose?  My marriage does have sacred purpose, as do all marriages – yes, even yours.  Heavenly Father brought my husband and I together for a reason, some days that reason seems really far away, but others it’s just a whisper away.  Am I treating it as though it is sacred?  Do I respect and honor my spouse as I should, even through disagreements and conflict?  Does my husband know that I believe that our marriage is sacred?  I would have to answer this with a big loud no today.

How do I fix it?  How do I make sure my husband knows, without a doubt that I believe that our marriage is sacred?  I need to admit to myself and to him that some of my actions have been astray and that I am willing to change and correct my choices.  It’s much like the repentance process, really.  Change from within, with sincerity and humility.  As I go about consecrating myself to my marriage and working on making sure that my husband knows that I find our marriage to be sacred, our home our sacred grounds, and our oneness with God most precious above all, I wish to quote Dr. Goddard here and ask for each of you to accept this challenge that he issued… I’m starting now!  Catch me if you can:

“For 30 days are you willing to show nothing but kindness and appreciation to your partner  Are you willing to set aside complaints and disappointments and see the good intentions and best efforts in your parter?  Rather than count the cost, will you consider seeing the investment as Paul did?  He said, “I consider everything a loss compared to the surpassing greatness of knowing Christ Jesus my Lord, for whose save I have lost all things.  I consider them rubbish, that I may gain Christ” Are you willing to invest your whole soul in the hope that you will gain eternal joy?”  I will serve my husband for the next 30 days, and I will do everything I can to show nothing but kindness and appreciation.

With love, in the name of Jesus Christ, amen.





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