FAML300

W08 FAML300 Beware of Pride

Beware of Pride… I don’t like the saying, but it is true.  I have never before thought of myself as being prideful.  I have (and still do) see myself as a wife that is proud of her husband and a mother who is very proud of her children.  But is that what it speaks of in the scriptures as being prideful?  The truth to the answer is no.

imagesAs I read this week, I learned.  I cried.  And I prayed.  In Drawing Heaven Into your Marriage by Dr. H. Wallace Goddard, he writes “In fact, any time we feel irritated with our spouses, that irritation is not an invitation to call our spouses to repentance but an invitation to call ourselves to repent.  We are irritated because of our own lack of faith and humility.”  This statement had profound effect on me.

I was sitting here, at my desk, reading the material to ponder over what to write for my blog this week when I read the above words.  The instant I read them, I remembered sitting on the couch yesterday afternoon irritated with my husband.  I was irritated that he wasn’t answering me.  I feel that he does this frequently, and that he does this knowing that it irritates me.  Clearly, it is me with the issue.  I am the one irritated by my husband’s natural tendencies.  Maybe he really does not answer me quickly because he wants to irritate me, but who am I to read his mind?

So how do I fix the problem?  As Alma fixed his, as the Publican did, as the people of Mosiah did.  I must repent and turn to Christ and ask for mercy and forgiveness.  I am but Children.1a human and I need Him, Jesus Christ to help me lose my pride.  Pride in thinking that I need an answer now.  Pride believing that I can make my husband answer me.  Perhaps my husband not answering me is my lesson from Heavenly Father in patience which I have yet to learn.  Perhaps this is my big picture lesson so that I can see that I am indeed prideful and I simply need to repent and get over myself.

So, instead of spending hours at the computer today, I intend to finish writing up this blog …get a couple more homework assignments off my plate and go lose myself in service.  I need it.  I need time to quietly reflect and to ask of God to teach me the ways of humility.

Have you had eye opening moments when Heavenly Father has taught you about your own pride?  What did you do to overcome these trials?  Let me know in a comment!

In the name of Jesus Christ, Amen.

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FAML300, Winter 2017

Week 2: Marriage Trends; Divorce: Make marriage work 

For this semester, I have an assignment to write each week about marriage. I wish that I could say that I could write more than once a week, but as you can see from the lack of recent posts, school is taking up most of my free time.  “Hey, I’m a busy lady,” is my current motto and frequently comes out of my mouth when I have dropped the ball on something menial at home.  I think my husband has heard that at least once each day this week.  I feel horrible for dropping balls, forgetting a soda in a lunch kit or not going above and beyond by doing one of the kids’ chore for them because they have a busy schedule too.  But what I don’t feel bad about is that I’m so busy because I am trying to make sure that our little family has a great future. My husband and all of the kids but the youngest fully support and try their best to understand when I simply can’t do everything that I can when I’m not going to school.

My family is pretty awesome.

I would like to take a moment or two and do some quick introductions and some background on myself so you can perhaps understand some of my posts and perspectives a bit.

My name is Samantha (in the plaid) and I will be 40 years old in just about three weeks.  I was married when I was 18 years old and had four wonderful children in this marriage.  Our marriage photobooth_0277ended in divorce after 13 years.  The kids’ father moved out of state which made visitations very difficult and then he stopped contacting the children completely.  It was a long while that we didn’t hear from him.  I was remarried (to a great guy) almost four years after the divorce was finalized.  At the time I remarried, the kids were 16, 11, 10, and 8.  My husband and I then had a little girl about a year after we were married.

I was born into a family and was raised to believe that having religion in one’s life is a crutch.  Believing or having faith in something other than yourself and your family would make you a co-dependent person, and we were to be independent young ladies and we didn’t NEED to have anyone in our lives, we could do it on our own.  And so we can, but none of us are truly independent, are we?

God made Eve so that Adam would have a help meet, an eternal companion.  He would not be alone.  We are not meant to be alone, but we are meant to have eternal companions, as Adam did.  We are to cleave unto our spouses, we are to be married and create a relationship between one another as we work together to grow closer to God, and become one. Here’s a little clip that talks about the importance of eternal marriage given by a leader of the Latter-day Saint Church in April 2003.  The institute of marriage hasn’t changed in God’s eyes since Adam, so they certainly haven’t changed since he spoke almost 14 years ago.

This week in my class, simply titled “Marriage,” we read a lot of statistics and information regarding the family as the basic unit of society and the ways that it is falling apart.  We are paying a disservice to our heritage by continuing to live in cohabitation arrangements and not committing to marriage prior to having children.  While I know that this is not the popular viewpoint (note: I don’t really care), we need to make this a priority in our culture, in our towns, cities, counties, states, nation, continent, and planet.

Simply put, children thrive when they grow up with a father and a mother that are married to one another in the same house for the entirety of their youth.  This means from birth to at least 18, and preferably for time and all eternity.

Families are the foundational unit for society.  Families that are built upon the solid marriage of a man and a woman who are committed to one another.  They should love each other and teach their children to love.  The dynamics of an individual family are simply too much for one blog post, so I will part with this thought on marriage: a marriage is celebrated by the communities where they are held.  Weddings are grand and celebrated worldwide.  If marriages were not the beginning of a new foundation with promise of solidarity and future family, then what foundation do we stand upon, other than the foundation of our Savior? He made families, He is of a heavenly family, and he had an earthly family while he was here.  If families were not important, He could have just existed here upon the earth without one.  But as He told John as from upon the cross in Calvary “Behold thy mother!”  Family was so important that as His lungs were aching from the position that he held, that he called upon someone to care for his earthly family.

 

Family is forever. In the name of Jesus Christ, Amen.

and forever.families-are-forever

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The Eternal Family

One Right Decision

Because no one that lives in this house actually reads what I write here, I am going to share with you my final essay for my English course this term.  I just turned it in to my instructor, so who knows what kind of grade I will get on it, but here it is.  I have spent a few hours writing, and editing this and I do hope that you enjoy it.

One Right Decision

            I was all of 18 years old when I became a mother and a wife. During this marriage I was blessed with four wonderful children and one wandering husband.  Twelve years later, I was a single mother living in a home that I could not afford on my own in a world that I no longer understood.  Forging my way ahead, I took some turns in the wrong direction and with discovery and blessing, I learned that my Heavenly Father values me.  Four years after my divorce, I met a wonderful man and he lived 2,600 miles away.  I flew there. He flew here. There is only so much flying a new relationship can handle.  He moved.  He moved from his home town, from his property, from living next door to his aging father, to be with me and my four children.  We quickly married and my children adored him.  They thrived having a father figure in the home and only months later, he became “Dad” to them.  Eleven short months after our wedding, I gave birth to our daughter.  A daddy in his own right and happy as could be, almost.  My husband hated my career and he hated the weather in my home town.  My home would never be home to him.  He was miserable, but he would never admit to it. I just knew, as one does when something isn’t quite right with their spouse.

My oldest child began his senior year in high school just weeks before our daughter was born, and the next oldest was just starting junior high.  Scared and with trembling words, I approached my husband to discuss his misery. “Do you want to move back home?” I asked.  His clear blue eyes welled with tears, and he just nodded his head.  I drew in a shaky breath and told him that if he could just wait until the school year ended, we would start the plans and go in the summer.  I don’t believe that I had ever seen him so relieved.  I advised my supervisor at work that I would be leaving in the summer and moving across the country.  I told my family, we told the children and we began to plan.  It honestly took the entire school year to get ready to go, but when June rolled around we were ready.  My notice had been given to my supervisor at the appropriate time, I had said goodbye to my friends and my twelve year career.  The moving van arrived and we loaded up.  For once, I finally felt as if I had made the right decision.  I had finally decided after being a mom for eighteen years, that I was going to be a wife and a mom before I was anything else.

The decision to be a wife and a mother shouldn’t be as hard as it was.  I loved my husband and I loved each of my children as fiercely as humanly possible.  Why was it so horribly difficult to move away from my hometown? Why was it so hard to do what God intended for me to do?  As we trekked across the country with a dog, several fish, and children in the weighed down car towing some of our belongings, there was nothing but time to ponder.  I sat in the passenger seat for six very long days holding a map and providing directions to my dedicated husband along the route.  We made it to his hometown and with great relief stretched our legs and found a rental home.  As the days turned into weeks and the weeks into months, I hadn’t found a job yet.  Finally at the six month mark, I was offered a position in my previous field of work and when I told my husband, he simply asked me why I had applied and stated in a matter of fact manner that he didn’t want me to go back to work.

I can’t say that I was completely shocked by my husband’s words, but I was confused, disappointed, and felt utterly lost.  I had always worked.  I had worked for twenty years and the time I had just spent finding a job was pointless.   It was then that I remembered that I had decided before we moved that I was going to be a wife and a mother before anything else.  Feeling a door slam in my face was the reminder that I needed.  Slowly, the days crawled by as I felt overwhelmed with my new duties of wife and mom.  I continued to drive the kids to school for drop off and pick up.  I continued to make my husband’s lunch each morning, but it was out of duty not of love.

Seven months after our arrival in my new town, we began to build our family home on the property that my sweet husband owned.  Every day, every step of the way, the money that I had set aside for retirement was building the home that I was to live in for the rest of my life.  While I was excited at the home building process and the idea of finally owning a home, I was terrified that I would be stuck in this horrible state of self-misery that I once saw in my husband.  We moved into our newly built home with fresh paint and brand new cabinetry one year after our family arrived in my husband’s home town.  As the days crept by, I realized that I was missing something in my life.  I was missing a piece of me – a really big piece.

I found my local church building and rediscovered my Savior, Jesus Christ.  I started attending my Sunday meetings, I began to pray, and I opened my scriptures again for the first time in what seemed like forever.  I accepted a calling to be a Primary teacher and I learned from seven year olds, the love that I have for my Savior could grow exponentially.  Taking my small child to church wasn’t easy, taking my teenage son to church wasn’t easy, but my older daughters were a breeze.  We attended as a family. We grew together in Christ as a family.  While our family isn’t perfect, the love that our Savior has for us is and it is that love which has taught me.  His love has taught me that being a wife and a mom is enough.  Not only is it enough, it is perfect for me.  I slowly crawled out of the darkness that I had allowed myself to wallow in and have flourished.  I now get up in the morning to the alarm clock and happily pack my husband’s lunch, wash dishes, cut grass, do laundry, and all the other mundane things that come with being a mom and a wife.  I love my family, and I love the gospel of Jesus Christ.

The one right decision for me was moving across the country and leaving the comfort of my family and hometown.  It was this choice that lead me back to my Savior.  I have grown into a loving, happy wife.  I have grown into loving the carpool and weekly grocery shopping trips.  I have learned to love the playground with my toddler, story time, bed time, and all the in between times.  The decision to put my husband in front of me, a costly decision at the time, was the one decision that I know for certain was the right one in my life.

 

Well, there it is… I am so nervous to post this, but I suppose a click won’t hurt.  Thank you for reading my essay, and I pray that as you did, that you had a moment of clarity about parenthood or marriage.  God bless you.

Samantha

 

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The Eternal Family

Sharing Everything

How important is it to share everything?  Okay, not everything.  I don’t need to know when my husband made a left hand turn at the intersection of Main and Bolivar, but everything.  The important things.  Well, important is relative.  Relative to what though?

I was struggling with a personal monster this weekend, and still am.  That being said, my husband kept something from me over the course of the weekend in order to better help me with my struggle.  Is that right or wrong?  Who is to say?  My husband did not tell me something that I view as really important and even urgent in order to better assist me in my own way.  In his mind, he was completely justified in not telling me.  In mine, not so much.

Let’s just start this off by talking about Benjamin Franklin and his discovery of how electricity works.  Okay, we’ve talked enough about that now… because I don’t really know how electricity works, I just trust that it does and when it doesn’t, I call the power company or my resident electrician, my husband.  My sweet husband deals with his own monsters, in the form of migraine and he fought with one on Friday this weekend and was down in bed for the majority of the day.  He was scheduled for overtime on Saturday and he still wasn’t feeling great, but he grumbled out of bed and out the door so that he could work to provide for our little family (mostly because he missed work on Friday.)  He came home on time Saturday evening and he was a little cranky, but nothing out of the ordinary for having to work ten hours on your day off… you know what I mean?  We went to bed at a normal time and when Sunday morning rolled around, I could tell another headache had set in… or so I thought.

I went about my day and took the kiddos to church and came home and he still wasn’t feeling up to par.  I tried to make sure that he was taking his migraine medication, but he was being resistant and I couldn’t figure out why.  I was just getting frustrated with him.  I just wanted to help him be on a recovery path from his migraine… is that too much to ask?

I climbed into bed Sunday evening just after nine and as I’m drifting off I mumbled something about him not taking his meds like he is supposed to.  He then said “because I got shocked yesterday.”  I sat up in bed, threw the covers off, stomped across the room and flicked the lights on.  “You what?”  We talked for a few minutes, the situation diffused and we fell asleep holding hands.

As I got up with the alarm clock this morning and made my husband’s lunch I meandered the kitchen thinking of what had happened.  My electrician, my husband, had been electrocuted at work. When he came out from getting ready for the day, I made him promise me to never hide something this big from me, even if it was for my own well-being while I was fighting with my own monsters.  Husbands and wives should be openly communicating, most especially if we faced death over the course of the day.  Sheesh.  I do love him.  And he loves me.  He didn’t keep it from me because I didn’t need to know.  He kept it from me so that I could be successful in my own endeavor.  He kept it from me because he loves me, as much as I love him.  So, while we should share everything, we should share everything at the right time.

I do believe that my husband was guided to keep this from me when he did, and I put my trust in him and in our Savior, that it was all just perfect… even though I didn’t think so at Mosiah 3 8the time.

I love you mister.

 

 

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The Eternal Family

Turn the page

Dear Moms,

Are you scrolling on your screen looking for a moment to escape from mundane routine chores?  I know that I’m certainly guilty of that. . . almost every day.  I am not perfect, and neither are you, and we all need a break from being a glorious mom now and then.

I love each of my five children and I have been a mom for 21 years, 3 months, and 20 days this morning.  That’s more than half of my life, so I’m confident saying that if you are feeling overwhelmed with laundry, pets, floors, toilets, tubs, and toys then you should take that break.  Just don’t scoop up your tablet each time and turn to social media for your “away” time.

I have found that as I turn to my scriptures, instead of social media, that I am a better more glorious mom.  The deep love that I hold for the scriptures is more fully learned as I take my time out in them and seek Christ instead of crafts or gossip.

Three weeks ago my family set out on a Book of Mormon reading challenge and along the way we get treats or “prizes” for reaching certain points throughout the book.  We, as a family of individuals have 60 days to get through the entirety of the book, and we are having a great time of it.  The kids are racing to get done… we aren’t wealthy and the kids want to go eat at the Olive Garden.  The whole family out for a dinner, we haven’t been able to that in a while.  Along the way they get icee’s, candy bars, chips, and an assortment of other treats that I can pick up at the supermarket without breaking the budget if milestones are reached within the week.  Both of my older girls are racing to catch up to me (I do love winning.)  I pray that they are successful and that as they spend time in the scriptures each day that they will not only feel accomplished for doing so, but that they will grow in strength and spirit.

Be a glorious mom, open your scripture app on your phone, spend a few moments Moroni 3remembering Amulek, Alma, Captain Moroni, and others that testify of Jesus Christ.  We can all be on the pathway to His kingdom if we but spend a few focused minutes each day, dedicated to Him.  Diapers, dogs, and dishes will be so much easier to handle, if we but first turn the pages.

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Moroni

Moroni 8

The study skill for this week is clustering.  You start with a topic that you wish to study and find a verse that has that topic in it.  You then use the footnotes and topical guide to find additional scriptures that reference the same topic and you write all of these verses on the same page.  When you are finished with your thorough exam of the topic, you now have a cluster of scriptures pertaining to the same topic for your reference and knowledge in the future.  This can totally come in handy when preparing talks.

We only have three chapters left to read in the Book of Mormon, so lets get started with Moroni 8 and see what we can learn.

How many of you readers have ever received a letter from your dad?  If you have, be sure to say thanks for it… I am not in this crowd.  My dad loves me, but he’s never written me a letter.  This chapter is a letter from Mormon to Moroni shortly after Moroni had been called a prophet of God.  Has your mortal father ever told you that you are always in his prayers, that God’s infinite grace and goodness will allow you to endure in faith to the end?  What wonderful words Mormon writes to his son.

We learn that Christ has told Mormon that little children are incapable of sin and that they are while in Christ.  The law of circumcision along with the law of Moses went away with the ministry, life, death, and resurrection of Christ.  Little children need not be baptized.  ‘

This chapter clearly tells us that God is an unchanging God from one eternity to the next and that children are unable to repent and therefore need not be baptized and all children are saved in Christ.  The purpose of baptism is for the remission of sins through repentance to fulfill commandments; little children are not in need of this process.

Mormon closes his letter to Moroni by telling him that he will write again if the Lamanites do not kill him in battle and leaves instruction with him to pray on the behalf of the Nephites that they may come unto repentance.
In the name of Jesus Christ, Amen.

 

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Moroni

Moroni 7

This is the last chapter for study this week.  Next week, there are only three chapters.  If you have been following along with me since the beginning of last term…. pat yourself on the back you only have four more chapters and you have read the entire Book of Mormon!

As this chapter begins, Moroni tells us that he is going to write the words of his father Mormon.  While you focus on this chapter, please remember the state that Moroni is in.  He has been by himself, hiding from the Lamanites that want to kill him for 36 years.  He is carrying with him the plates that he has translated and here we find out that he has also been carrying with him letters from his father.  Moroni is truly an amazing scribe and prophet of the Lord.

I think that as I go through this chapter, I am just going to go ahead and quote the glimmers of light for me.  I am feeling a bit run down at the moment and could use a little pick-me-up,  and I am sure that Mormon has just the right words for me.

Verse 5 “For I remember the word of God which saith by their works ye shall know them; for if their works be good, then they are good also.”

Verse 8 “For behold, if a man being evil giveth a gift, he doeth it grudgingly; wherefore it is counted unto him the same as if he had retained the gift; wherefore he is counted evil before God.”  While that doesn’t sound like a pick-me-up, it really is if you are giving with sincerity.

Verse 12 “All things which are good cometh of God”

Verse 13 “every thing which inviteth and enticeth to do good, and to love God, and to serve him, is inspired of God.”

Verse 16 “the Spirit of Chirt is given to every man…. and to persuade to believe in Christ”

Verse 19 “ye should search diligently in the light of Christ that ye may know good from evil; and if will lay hold upon every good thing, and condemn it not, ye certainly will be a child of Christ.”

Verse 25 “by faith, they did lay hold upon every good thing”

Verse 26 “Whatsoever thing ye shall ask the Father in my name, which is good, in faith believing that ye shall receive, behold, it shall be done unto you.”

Verse 29-32 tells us the job of angels…. now that’s some pretty cool stuff!

Verse 33 “And Christ hath said: If ye will have faith in me ye shall have power to do whatsoever thing is expedient in me”

Verse 37 “it is by faith that miracles are wrought; and it is by faith that angels appear and minister unto men”

Verse 42-43 “if a man have faith he must needs have hope; for without faith there cannot be any hope.  And again, behold I say unto you that he cannot have faith and hope, save he shall be meek, and lowly of heart.”

Verse 47 “Charity is the pure love of Christ, and it endureth forever; and whoso is found possessed of it at the last day, it shall be well with him.”

There are some principles to ponder until next week.  Mormon was a grand prophet and full of wise words to be written knowing that we would need them in the last days.  I know that I am truly thankful that he chose to write these words.  As I have read them today, I have been filled with joy and my heart is full of love and I feel as if I am on the pathway to His kingdom.

In the holy name of Jesus Christ, Amen.

 

 

 

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